Driver ok, County pride Not-So-Much

Martin, TN- As many as 7 people were slightly inconvenienced today when a car struck numerous buildings and other items in downtown Martin. The incident occurred on Lindell St. The driver, known in some parts as 'Lead foot Ann', was last seen pulling a few items from her newly smashed Dodge Caliber and running towards The Opera House. And who could blame her? Their fried crawfish tails are divine. You know, I celebrate their entire menu.
Anyway, the cause of the accident is at this time still unknown, yet an initial report from an anonymous source has been released. According to this report, there are some dangerous and ramp-like bridge transitions on US45e north of town. The driver, abiding the speed limit, hit her head and became concussed while traveling over these very unsafe transitions. Our calls to the presiding county commissioner went answered.
     Almost as bewildering as this accident, it is worth noting that just beyond these perilous and undeniably treacherous road hazards lies Obion county, where they were able to easily fix their bridge transitions into a seemingly smooth roadway experience.