Fargo, ND: Viral videos are all the rage these days, and this week's submission is sure to rock and educate you. This new video is sweeping the nation with mixed determinations of what it's about or even what the lyrics are. Rebecca Black makes her debut with "Friday", a song obviously written by an uneducated pre-teen. The song starts its saddening descent quickly, as she rushes to the bus stop only to be picked up by her friends. At that moment, she is confronted with her first of many major dilemmas; where to sit. "Which seat can I take?", she sings, as if this is a milestone for her. At this point in the video, the viewer may notice that almost everyone in the video needs to rush out and buy some acne medication. Also worth noting is that only two lines of lyrics have rhymed out of at least eight. This is also the part of the song where you hear auto tune gone wrong. The chorus, which is reported to say "Friday", actually sounds more like "fried egg". It gets progressively worse. The chorus rambles on to an infantile "Partyin', partyin', Yeah! Partyin', partyin', Yeah! Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun, Lookin' forward to the weekend!" Yes, you read (or heard) it correctly. Fun said four times in a row. As if we needed more proof that 'No Child Left Behind' has failed us as a nation. Things turn to educating when she breaks down the days of the week, noting that "Yesterday was Thursday, Today it is Friday". Then we do a u-turn into some grammatically pitiful expression of "we we we so excited, we so excited, we gonna have a ball today. Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards, I don't want this weekend to end". The video continues this lack of style, and then, BAM! Some pedophile rapper enters the scene, talking about being in the front seat and the back seat and switching lanes. He's all excited because he saw a school bus. Coincidentally, he also chooses to only rhyme two of his lines. As the song reaches the best part(the end), you are treated to repetitive chorus abuse and then you can schedule that lobotomy to maybe forget this horrible, wretched song.
Maybe we're being too harsh here. We should support singers with down syndrome every chance we get. At least they found the guts to perform. But one has to ask, where's that one sensible family member, that one voice of reason that says, 'this is a bad idea'? Apparently, there is no one like that in this girl's house. We all know that the education system is failing us; do we really need more proof shoved in our faces?
We report, we decide. We pretty much took all the stress out of it for you. You're welcome.
