In a stunning move today, Church's Chicken has unveiled plans to offer drive-thru prayer services. The company hopes to expand the service outside of the test-market, and eventually offer dine-in specials like "Honey Biscuits and Hymns" and "Chicken Communion".
"We are so excited to put this plan into motion" says Church's public relations director, Rev. LeGuardo Tenochilteria. "A few years ago, we ran commercials with someone calling one of our locations asking, 'Who's your pastor?' and due to an overwhelming resurgence with many more callers seriously demanding to speak with the lead clergy at our stores, we feel that this program fits the needs of our patrons. I mean, like, come on. We have 'Church' right in the name of our stores."
Customers can simply drive up to the speaker, order a 10 piece mixed box, and receive 3 minutes of counsel from a non-denominational person of the cloth. Smaller time slots are allowed for individual meals orders, while those who order the 20 piece family meal deal can opt for a 9 minute service, complete with 2 prayers, 1 hymn, and 2 scripture readings.
We report, we decide. We pretty much took all the stress out of it for you. You're welcome.
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